Body shaming is not okay regardless of your size.
It is NOT okay.
As women we struggle with enough of our own negative self talk and we definitely don’t need it from anyone else.
The other evening after a women’s networking event I met up with LR for a light dinner. I, for the first time in a long time, thought I looked great. Bright blue elbow length sleeved shirt with a high waist (okay so I pulled it up to sit under my boobs) black/white polka dotted skirt, cute shoes, my hair/makeup looked good. I felt confident, something I don’t often have. Okay I rarely have it, I’ve even come to the realization that I often walk with my head down, that definitely doesn’t scream confident. And even LR has told me that I need to be nicer to myself.
Anyway, so we were at dinner, just the salad bar nothing fancy but we just wanted to spend some time together. We were at the cash register paying, I was getting cash out of my wallet for a tip when our waitress (also the person cashing us out) and she says, “You must be celebrating your pregnancy.” I stood there confused, completely dumbfounded. I brushed it off, smiled, no, no I’m not and I put the cash back in my wallet. LR knew instantly this cut me to my core. He finished paying, grabbed my hand giving it a squeeze and we walked out. “You look beautiful. She is on drugs, that is the only explanation.” I sniffed out an I know but I couldn’t stop the tears. So. Many. Tears. In that flicker of a moment that woman took down my entire day. LR got me into his car and we just drove around for a while. He wiped the tears from my face and comforted me the best way he could. “Stop thinking about it. You are amazing and look stunning.”
Sadly this wasn’t the first time I’ve had someone think I was pregnant, I believe when I was 18ish, I had a guy walk over rub my stomach and ask when the baby was due. So for this waitress so essentially do the same thing it hurt. It hurt so freaking much. Honestly being body shamed is part of my hesitation to post photos on my own blog.
I used to weigh 405 pounds, I was a size 32. I now wear a size 10 and I’m just under 230. It shouldn’t matter what I weigh or my size. People, especially other women have zero right to body shame anyone. And that’s how I felt, I felt like she completely body shamed me. I felt horrible about myself, my weight, my size, everything. In one moment she surged all of the negative self talk I’ve been dealing with back to the surface.
Body shaming is NOT okay. It is NOT acceptable.