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11/7/16
Current: 222.0
Gain: +1

I’m not doing well at all. Emotionally I am destroyed. I’m simply going through the motions of daily life. It is what it is.

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10/24/16

Current: 221.0

So it’s been a crazy month. I gained weight the past few weeks then LR ended our relationship last week Wednesday and I managed to drop nearly 8 pounds from the week before. A small silver lining to the crapshoot that is my life lately.

It’s been a rough month. So many tears. I’m simply not hungry and just don’t care about food. I don’t know how anything is going to shake out but good vibes and prayers are truly appreciated.

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10/3/16
Current: 225.8
Loss: -1.0

Well it’s something. I can honestly say I haven’t been eating great but I’m also a bit concerned that my “pouch” has stretched out because I can definitely eat much more than I should. Actually I’m super concerned about that. I’m worried I eat too much, don’t “dump” and can essentially eat whatever I want with no repercussions. What if I messed this whole thing up?

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9/26/16
Current: 226.8
Loss: -1.2

I’ll take it! So I started a new part-time job on Monday working 1pm-5pm, then I’ll fill in for the full time receptionist when she has vacation. There’s a lot to take in, it’s more than just answering phones so it’s definitely keeping me busy. I’m hoping by having this job my stress decreases even just a little bit. What is nice is I’ll be able to eat lunch before going into work then dinner when I get home, so cutting out fast food! Also I’ll be able to get up and get my workouts done in the morning.

I’m (finally) getting back on track and feeling really good about it. Phew! Last night on our way to dinner LR (boyfriend) said, “So I was looking back through pictures from when we first started dating and you’ve definitely lost weight.” He’s a keeper 🙂

Keep pushing friends!!

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9/19/16
Current:228.0
Loss: -1.2

I’m not even sure how that happened but I’ll take it. I’ve been letting this stress get to me in the worst ways. I’m finding myself grazing, snacking (definitely snacking on things I shouldn’t be), and consuming enough Starbucks for a small village. I’m not saying that Starbucks is bad, because in moderation it’s probably great. However I found myself drinking 2-3 each day, my “normal” drink is a venti iced latte, decaf, with soy milk, sugar free caramel and sugar free mocha (that’s 12 pumps of flavor). So yesterday was it. No more Starbucks for a while maybe on a trek out of town or something like that but definitely not like I have been. Not only should it help me lose weight but it’s going to make my wallet a bit happier.

I’m really thinking once I have a job, a lot of the stress is going to balance out. I know we all have stress in our lives, but this is weighing so VERY heavy on my heart/soul/mind. It is absolutely affecting my weight loss.

However, I am determined! My boyfriend is doing a 5k this coming Sunday, he’s been training for months and I am so very, very, proud of him. There’s an 8 mile race on Mackinac Island that I’m thinking of training for. I’d have nearly a year to get ready but we’ll see. I’m not sure I ever really *want* to be a running competing in 5ks, 10ks, etc. I’ve never had it as a goal. Something to consider I suppose.

Current goal: Get to 199 pounds.

Keep pushing friends.

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09/19/16
Current: 229.2

Whatever. I’m sad, disappointed and frustrated to say the least. I’m struggling in so many areas and I’m thinking I’m on the verge of depression brought on by stress. My head is a rough place to be in right now but I’m trying to push through.

Currently on day 3 of the 5 day pouch reset/test, days 1 & 2 didn’t go swimmingly that’s for sure. But I’m not giving up. I just need to muster through all of this. I just don’t know how.

Friends be aware that weight loss surgery isn’t the easy way out. It’s hard (no matter how you chose to lose weight). But we made this choice for a reason, so don’t give up.

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8/22/16
224.8
Gain: +0.2

8/29/16
Current: 224.4
Loss: -0.4

Just getting caught up from the previous week. Still hovering around 224 which is good that it’s not going up significantly but sucks that I’m still hovering there. I really just want to see the number start with a 1 dang it!

Goal lose 25.4 pounds hopefully by the end of October. That gives me about 2 months and doesn’t seem highly unreasonable. Friday I’m meeting with the trainer at Planet Fitness to create a program and go from there.

I have to keep pushing forward. I’m not happy where I’m at. I’m frustrated but know it’s not done yet.

Just keep pushing.

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8/15/16
Current: 224.4
Gain: +.2

I’ll take it, not what I wanted but after a week of being sick and not sleeping well, then dealing with weird eating due to the Global Leadership Summit, I’ll happily accept the .2 gain. We can’t win them all, right?

But I’m finally feeling better as far as the sinus issue goes now it’s just a matter of getting back into the swing of everything else even though my stress levels are running on over drive.

It’s tough remembering to take care of ourselves, to put ourselves before others especially being a caretaker for years. It’s something I struggle with every single day. But we have to keep moving forward and decide ultimately that we MUST take care of ourselves in order to continue taking care of others.

So keep pushing friends.

Weigh In/Down with the Sickness

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8/8/16
Current: 224.2
Loss: -5

Oh I’m totally celebrating this 5 pound loss but let me add a little caveat: I’ve been sick this week. Last Saturday I had a horrible headache in the front of my forehead, it went on for a few days. Honestly I assumed it was stress. It went away but whenever I would move my eyes I would get sharp pains into my forehead and it simply hurt to move my eyes in any direction (driving was fun). Then I developed nightly fevers. Oh for the love the stress was going to kill me at this point. I wasn’t sleeping through the night, everything I ate made me nauseous (except fresh peaches but we’re only allowed 1/4c fruit via surgeon’s instructions). I did make sure to get in 1 protein shake a day so at least I had that going for me. Otherwise I barely ate. Finally this past Saturday, a week after all this started I went to urgent care (my doctor had moved the one my insurance company assigned me to couldn’t see me until mid-September). At UC I was diagnosed with a severe sinus infection given some prescriptions and sent on my way.

The z-pack seems to be doing it’s thing pretty well, I’m only on it until Wednesday so I guess we’ll see? I was also given Allegra-D to help with things oh my gosh. I am not taking it anymore. Saturday night I got 2 hours of sleep, last night about an hour. It is causing me HORRIBLE insomnia. Nope I’m done with that. I’ll see what else I can figure out.

So yay 5 pounds lost! Boo on lack of sleep.

 

Hello August/Weigh In

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8/1/16
Current: 229.2
Gain: +2.6

*^^%$%$&@#&*^*)&*()W$*^)#&%

UGH!
Sorry that’s just how I’m feeling today. This journey is stressing me out, job hunting is stressing me out, dealing with friends is stressing me out. I’ve literally had a stress headache for 3 days, that is stressing me out. So to say that stress is taking a toll on my body/weight loss – duh.

It’s a new month though so I’m going to dust myself off once again and get back to it. Blah. I’m so exhausted from restarting this journey but I can’t give up. I have a goal I want to hit and then I want to start talking to plastic surgeons about an arm lift.

Must. Keep. Going.