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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Beauty is only skin deep

We’ve heard these phrases and many more throughout our entire lives, I’m sure. When I look in the mirror I still often see the 405 pound me versus the 230 pound me. I don’t always see the different face or body looking back. It is a daily struggle. Now don’t get me wrong there are definitely times where I feel cute or even pretty but recognizing that woman in the mirror doesn’t happen that often. It’s hard for me to see the 175+ pounds gone.

kt

That’s me this past Thursday (3-17-16). My boyfriend took it. The first thing I said to him was wow I have crazy hair. The first thing he said to me was “you look so pretty.” My heart may have melted a bit. He often tells me I’m pretty or look cute or beautiful. I generally smile and tell him thank you. It is so strange to hear someone tell you that you look beautiful when many of us have spent so much time definitely not feeling beautiful.

I’ll show people a “before” photo or people that knew me at my high weight, then they see me now and often tell me that they never saw me as the size I was. Which baffles me because when I would first walk into a room I’d immediately survey it to see if I was the biggest person in there. I was a size 30/32 now I’m a 12/14 – it truly does not compute in my brain.

There’s no real point to this post but just try to be nice to yourself. Years of negative self talk doesn’t undo itself overnight. We’re all so beautiful in our own ways.

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