It’s hard to believe that next week marks 3 months since surgery. I feel like I’m so far behind other people I know, it’s frustrating. I’m beyond grateful for the weight I’ve lost and far I’ve come but my goodness I still have such a long way to go.
Sometimes food overwhelms me, sometimes daily life overwhelms me (who doesn’t this happen to?), sometimes the thought of eating makes me want to cry, sometimes trying to figure out how to eat out with others makes me want to throw up. I struggle with being my own worst enemy. I’ve struggled with all the emotional crud – I’ve found that working out has definitely helped with the emotional drain/depression I was feeling. I struggle with seeing the changes within myself. I battle with comparing my journey to others.
Now, I’m so happy that I made the decision to have gastric bypass surgery. I’ve lost 79.6 pounds since the heaviest weight (I can recall). I’ve lost 4 pants sizes (starting out in late December in a size 28, now in a size 22) – at my highest I was in a size 30/32. So don’t get me wrong I’m happy with the decision I made even on the days I lack confidence in myself or just don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere.
Recently I decided to get back into the “dating scene” (whatever that is lol), so I signed up for an online dating site. It’s been interesting to say the least. I ended up going to the museum with a guy – I just think he and I are on two completely different fields. Then this past Saturday, I was told that I was “too much of a goodie goodie” to date. First I got a bit huffy but then I giggled because all I could think of was Sandy from Grease. Hilarious. Anyway, dating is weird…
The conference is rapidly approaching I need to work on a game plan for my meals and whatnot that week. I don’t want to rely on protein bars and drinks so it looks like Pintrest and I will be friends this week.
I need to get out of this funk, make sure that I’m taking time for myself and that I’m actually taking care of myself. I feel like I’m letting myself be pushed to the back in order to take care of everyone else. Sigh. It’s a struggle for me.
Have a great week all and I hope you had a beautiful Easter!