, , , , , , , , ,

I don’t know about you, but leading up to weight loss surgery I watched A LOT of Youtube videos. Some were vlogs, some were videos of the procedure, it just varied on what I came across. I wanted to make sure I knew what to expect from the surgery as well as what other people experienced.

When I woke up on the hospital after surgery, and really ever since my body hasn’t felt any different. So today I re-watched a surgical procedure and was literally like huh, my body is totally different. Which is great, I’m losing weight (even though I feel it should be more), and I’m focusing on my health.

So, even though I knew there was a lot going on with my body, that a lot of things would be changing, I didn’t anticipate all of the emotions that were going to happen, at least not happen so quickly. I have been snappy, sassy, and sobbing through the past few days. Generally I hide it from most, because they don’t seem to understand. Plus I’ve never wanted to be that girl that cries in front of everyone. (The morning of surgery my supervisor came in to pray with my family and I, I was crying and felt like a train-wreck for doing it in front of her – seriously). These past few days I’ve been struggling with feeling alone and honestly just sometimes really sad. I have no idea why other than my hormones and body are all out of whack.

For those that tell you weight loss surgery is an “easy out” laugh and shrug it off. It is definitely not the easy way out. It’s hard work – mental and physical. But we’ll all get through it, one moment at a time. Just breathe, believe, and battle.