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This coming Tuesday I’m going to an informational seminar for bariatric surgery. I still haven’t made up my mind if surgery is the path for me but I figure I might as well fill out all of the paperwork that’s recommended and turn it in at the seminar. I’ve had this paperwork sitting on my desk for a while now, shifting it into different areas as I needed to access certain things on my desk, as I go along I’ve been halfheartedly filling it out. Today I decided to finish it up, the only sections left to do where family history and history of dieting.

Let me tell you that’s an eye opening experience. It made me realize that I’ve essentially been dieting at some point in my life for 21 years. I’ve pretty much been on a diet since I was 11 years old. Now let me clarify that it was no one in my life that made me diet or anything like that; my parents, grandparents, godparents, etc were not restricting my calories, food, etc. But to write down pretty much every diet I’ve ever tried, the date, how much I lost/regained was a “whoa” moment. Mind

I don’t want to diet anymore. I want to change my life. I need to change my life. I have to change my life.

Someday I want to have children, I don’t want them to feel compelled to start dieting at a young age. I want them to have a healthy, “normal” relationship with food and be super active, silly, kids like they’re supposed to be.

So now it’s time to figure out what I’m going to do, how I’m going to make a lifestyle change, and implement it.

This coming Saturday I’m partaking in The Color Run 5k. I’m essentially terrified and have thought about every way possible to get out of it to no avail. So I’ve committed and I”m going to go through with it. I’m hoping I don’t die. I have some amazing women walking with me so that will definitely help but phew what have I gotten myself into?!