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It’s been a rough few days for me. It’s been extremely rough emotionally, with eating, everything. But that’s just part of life. It can’t be all sunshine and flowers everyday, we have to accept the fact that there are going to be struggles, battles, and lows – for some of us it seems never ending. I get it. I’ve been there. I struggle with things on a daily basis. I have extreme fears about a lot of things in life but on the flip side I also have faith. I’m not saying that having faith or a relationship with God is going to be a cure-all because it’s not. I WISH it was but that’s not the case. But it’s a start and sometimes that’s all we need.

So the past 4 days I’ve had some sort of crap food (fast food). I don’t know how to stop when I’m ordering and can easily (and shamefully) consume 4-6 sandwiches as well as fries. I then feel miserable, sluggish, and horribly guilty about what I’ve eaten. But it’s not like I can turn back time and undo it all. I believe last week was eating disorder week and so I took a little quiz and apparently according to that I have food addiction tendencies. Scary. I never thought of myself as an addict but at the same time it doesn’t surprise me.

What’s my plan? I’m starting over. Today is a new day so I’m making a plan. I found some amazing inspiration on Sparkpeople.com, WeightWatchers.com, I need to create a strong support group so that I have people I can turn to before running through the drive-thru then beating myself up about it. I found this picture on someone’s Sparkpeople Blog and it’s so fitting. It inspired me to really buckle down and focus on the next 30 days not the next 2 or 3 months, year, etc. Thirty Days. I’m going to focus on eating within my points range on Weight Watchers (homecooked, delicious, tasty food), getting to the gym regardless of how I am feeling that day, reading/studying the Bible consistently (oh man I’ve been slacking).

It’s 30 days, not a lifetime. Maybe the first 30 days will be revolutionary. Maybe it’s the kick in the pants I need. Perhaps breaking it up will help me. It may not be what’s right for you it might be perfect for you but hey all we can do is try. It we fall down seven times we stand up eight. We can do this. I think I’m going to print out the picture and stick in on my fridge as well as another copy on my closet door (where I have an inspirational saying board). It’ll be everywhere I look for I can stay on track for the next 30 days.

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Just remember that no matter what the choice is absolutely yours. No one can do it for you. There’s no magic pill, shake, etc. that’s going to make the changes. The choice is yours.

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